Between Me You and God 5

BMYG Part Five.
Reader’s going over Cassette tape after tape trying to put Joe’s life in prospect to his childhood, Sixty minutes of tapes of a life torn by evens that were of the unspoken times, no wonder he said nothing about it; Pressured by The Police and Doctors at Nine years old must have been hard for him not to talk about it, keeping it all bottle up inside here it is, some of it was edited out went for beer and snacks while he was making the tapes.
Being a young boy at eight going on nine years old back in nineteen sixty-four life had so many meaning it was a time to reach out find yourself right finding myself or something that could help me along of not having a complete family without a father sure my dad was killed over in some foreign country and brought home with full honors so I was told, holding me up over his shoulders flying around the room that’s will always be there even if I was only around four or five years old, Mom had taken many photos of dad in the army and a few on the beach maybe that’s why I like the beach so much hoping to see dad again of course he never showed up on the beach no madder how many times looking waiting for him to come rushing up pulling me into the air again, killed in the service of the war it wasn’t a war all the protesters in the streets even a few outside the cemetery gates protesting holding signs up as we drove to dad burial site, having sit outside on metal chairs everyone crying around me.
My sisters crying mom did try not to cry sitting looking at the box with a flag draped over it, why was the flag draped over it was my question to mom, she said your father is inside and gone to heaven, my dad was in that box trying to get up a few times wanting to see inside that box myself only being sat back down made me even more mad, they took the flag off after hearing guns going off that made me and a few others jump in or seats, mom took our hands walking over to the shinny brown box placing flowers on it, getting a chance to check it out for myself trying to open that box only being pulled away by a army uniform with dangling metals and his white cloves holding me, next thing recalling back being taken to a car placing me inside was my grandfather voice was strong and harsh pointing his finger at me closing the door, kicking the seat a few times before setting back in the seat not understanding if that box had my dad in it why we couldn’t see him.
So much for having a father in my life to fly me around over his shoulders, mom started working at a few places sometimes she’d come home tired and sore rubbing he feet before finding a job she could handle between our school hours, Trisha and Becky always made lunch before we went to school placing it in brown paper bags having to be careful with it so my sandwich wasn’t all squishy at lunch time, back then you carried your books in your arms that is if they weren’t knock out from an older kid passing by in the hall, sure being frantic only brought me to the principles off a few times holding my stepped on lunch bag, What happen between years is unclear till I was eight going on nine that’s when all hell broke loose around our house.
Looking back going to church was something my sisters wanted to do bringing along little old me to show off more than anything, services were ok for the most part, watching everyone singing in harmony, what caught my eye more than anything in that whole church wasn’t the alter or the wall painting they were ok sad looking things that much I can remember about them now the most interesting thing wasn’t any of them it was the older boys walking down putting out the candles and later collecting from each row of seats smiling as the plate went around; I of course always had given a quarter to place in so in a way did my part, wanting to be that church boy putting out the candles wearing that fancy coat while everyone watching me standing so proud humming a song while the organ played on the side, We got home and Mom said it would be ok if that’s what I wanted to really do telling me not to be disappointed if I couldn’t carry the pole right off; joining the Sunday school teaching of the Bible was the first step to getting my coat so I could light the candles.
Becky like the father so she asked him what was required for a young boy to join in the service of the church, I was standing not too far away when she asked him he looked over at me and smiled asking my age and said I could as long as I study hard in Sunday school, he did shake my hand welcoming me in if I only knew what he had in mind I should have run out as fast as I could; low and behold I did the Sunday school classes four months and no coat, even went to church before hand with my sisters, Trisha and Becky took a class in another room with the older girls together, all of us boy’s had our room just outside Father what name did I call him hold on Spears that’s right spears, ok I got it now so after our Sunday school Becky and Trish always like showing off to the older boys before we headed home.
And why do they call it school anyway we go to school five days a week and one more day for Sunday school wouldn’t that be six days of school then ok maybe it’s more Bible studying than school work I feel sorry for the kids that go to Church school it’s like six day’s for them anyway back to our study time now eight boys in a room studying Bible lesson from a booklet seem ok that is if we made it thru the whole hour it would have been a miracle in itself; we did however watch a movie or two not like anything today it was an old projector with the eight millimeter film that always seem to burn the first part setting it up that was cool watching the film melt.yea satin burning it up before we could watch it, lights on lights off always missing the intro part even if the movies were about mosses or some saint we never hear of before. During the movie one or maybe two of the boys would go in with Father Spears more one on one study time most of the time it ran overtime till they came out, a few hung around outside for them, I just wanted to get home and watch some TV have a sandwich before dinner. Going back some remembering asking Father spears about the candle being all excited hoping soon it would be my turn as candle bearer now giving him my big happy smile everyone like didn’t do it for him telling me with his hand on my shoulder you’ll have to wait till you’re at least eleven to become a candle holder what a drag and blow to my ego no long rob to walk down the aisle with no candles to put out, study the Bible more and will see what we can do’ ok I’ll try harder learning more Bible passages study harder even brought my grade up to a B in reading. That night Father Spears showed up at our house what a surprise to both my sisters and Mom we just finished dinner, he told mom I was a fast learner and wanted to make sure it was alright when they did night study I could join the other boys sometimes at other church members homes, Mom said it would be ok as long as it wasn’t a school night. That made me so happy at the time at least.
My friend Harry he was eleven ready to before me to start the candles even tried the rob on letting me wear it once, this one weekend harry had a one on one with Father Spears before his big candle Sunday, we had to go out of town to see my uncle he was older than mom was you meet him a few times Cory do you remember him curly hair guy with a go-tee, I’ll get into him later. Monday in school Harry didn’t show up he was sick, then Tuesday he wasn’t in school phoning his house with his dad assured the phone asked if I been to church on Sunday no I was out of town why what happen did Harry get hurt or something, he said he was find and won’t be going back to church anymore they were going to another church now down the street, ok so maybe I might be able to take his place was my thought, rushing over to the church on my bike so I could ask the father, he was surprised when I told him about Harry not coming back he’d hold me in mind for the candle boy I even told him the rob Harry use would fit me good; That made my night a lot easier to go to sleep looking forward to Sunday service, Seeing Harry in school on Wednesday I asked him how come they change churches, he just said he couldn’t talk about it and said I should check out the other church before something happens to me or my sisters, what did he mean by that he didn’t say why.


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